BEDTIME RITUALS (or Sock Wads)

I completely love my mattress and I can not wait to get in it at night time. However I particularly like my electric blanket and I run from the toilet in my sleep shirt and hurry beneath that good, toasty blanket. However with having toes that take slightly longer than the remainder of me to heat up, I normally go away my socks on till they begin feeling toasty, too.

Then I’ve this downside: what to do with the socks? I used to simply sort of throw them off to the aspect however when the sock graveyard began overtaking the bed room then I’d throw them within the wash. However, you understand, even simply mendacity there, these socks in that little graveyard appeared sort of unhappy and forlorn and bleak… sort of boring designer socks.

UH OH. Did you say boring? If there may be something I can not stand, it is boring. Nicely, we should do one thing about this.

My socks grew to become weapons of torture for Jeff as I’d normally wait till he was good and comfy and about able to lose himself in his guide, then I’d very quietly and punctiliously attain down and pull off one sock. I slowly, slowly transfer my hand with a wadded up sock over. Slowly, slowly – though the whereas pretending to check the bumps on the ceiling. However, here is the place I’ve to be VERY QUICK AND GET IT IN HIS UNDERWEAR.

I do not typically succeed anymore. Alas… Jeff is on to my methods. Life was once so easy. I put my socks in his underwear and he would yell and scream. Now I TRY to place my socks down his underwear and abruptly, he turns from a quietly studying husband into this raging, snorting and flailing bull.

What a sight! Now we’re beating one another in mattress whereas he frantically throws all of the covers off, searching for the OTHER sock that he is aware of is unquestionably awaiting him. However I am not going to surrender so simply. I’ve GOT to succeed with no less than one sock. And I hardly ever do.

A couple of minutes later, there I lay, completely bereft of all weapons and he is beating me on prime of my head with my socks. I’ve the looks of complete defeat, however truly I am plotting my subsequent transfer. And I simply smile sweetly at him.